Dear Cami,

You'll never guess, Cami, but I just had another dream about Taylor Swift. This time we were in the back of a car and my hands were cold so she squeezed them between her legs. She was wearing a pair of blue sweat pants and I remember thinking that it couldn't be any warmer - I was impressed. But when I took my hands out of her crotch she looked concerned. I asked her what was wrong and she said that she was imperforate, but she could feel a difference now. Then she got moody with me. I think I took Taylor Swift's virginity in my dream. Do you think she really is imperforate? Maybe so. Anyway, later in the dream we were on an escelator and she kept getting further away from me while we spoke. It was funny though because she was wearing a mental hospital shirt and she wouldn't make eye contact with me. Did I drive Taylor Swift insane by taking her verginity with my hand? Who knows. Oh well, dreams are fun. I hope you do well at the ASN Awards I think they are comming up soon. I hope you win best illegal sex worker - I know, its all legal. By the way, would you ever consider taking a high school kid to prom?

Sincerely,

King Arthur Henry George of Britain

May 29, 2026