Dear Sophia,

Well, I am now certain that you won't contact me unless I can guess my name correctly. However you told people that my middle name was Oliver and it isn't. That really fucked me up. I purchased the web address with Oliver in my name - What am I going to do with that. Anyways, now you can contact me, you have no excuse. I know you have found my website, you check it regularly. So please contact me I am waiting to hear from you. I like the name Arthur, I think I will go by it. I would be king Arthur the first - it has a ring to it. Just so you know, I think my life will get better now that I know my name, what do you think? Oh well, I am going to bed but before I do I will write a letter to Heather.

Sincerely,

King Henry George of England